The Broken Necklace
Short Stories are quite different than a full fledged novel. In a novel the author enjoys the liberty of giving all the detail of the characters and circumstances. But in a short story, the author has to be very keen to tell the story within a very few pages and at the same time has to give a background account of the characters and circumstances without wasting the pace of the story.
“The Broken Necklace” certainly has that characteristic of a short story. In three pages you have created two characters; the reader is very clear about Camellia and Ahmed. How they look, how they feel, the bondage of love between them, their adopted son, Ahmed’s mother’s grief for a blood-grandchild, everything. The message is very clear. Story line is crisp, very convincing, easily understandable.
Now, a few things to remember. As I told you earlier, you need to work on your Punctuations and formatting. If I think from a reader’s point of view, text formatting matters a lot while reading a book. Poorly formatted texts are very difficult to concentrate on and texts with perfect formatting and stylish looks are eye pleasing to the readers.
Now, coming back to the story; storyline is clear. But, there is a scope for the readers to make out, what actually happened to that necklace (??). That scope raises a lot of questions. But, as a reader, I prefer more clarity on the background of a story.
Now, it’s time to rate the story. I give it a seven out of ten. One more point could have been added had the formatting been better.
Tu amor obseso me tortura,
Como barco a la merced
Del viento caprichoso.
Y el aroma de una caricía tierna
que dejaste en mi libros
abriendo mi heridas ,
Cual un pirata lacerado
Abrazando arena serena,
Sufriendo en silencio
Su pérdida .
Written by arabian roses
Cuando llueva, escribiré tu nombre en suelo
Para que viaje tu generosidad
A través de las venas de tierra
Regando mi tímido simiente para convertido
En jazmín blanca perfumando noches tristes
O en generosos arboles alimentando a los pobres
Sin arrogancia y sin humillación
Porque en tu nombre , habitan los secretos del amor .